New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
