and i looked up. we had an audience...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
