Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
