I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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