I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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