when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
