girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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