these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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