Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize