Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize