guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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