you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I AM VODKA MAN
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
