STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
