we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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