Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
