Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
