moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
