its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
