PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
