There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
