If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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