I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
