I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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