So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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