dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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