My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We need to feng shui this bitch.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
