omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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