is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
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It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize