It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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