No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
