I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
