He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
