haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
