Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
