I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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