I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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