we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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