How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
