I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my sisters under your porch take her home
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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