No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
