I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He has the fingertips of a God
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