and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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