Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
