I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
