I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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