his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
