The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
