I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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