I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
