no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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