Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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