It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
