Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
