i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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