I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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