So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
