Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
