just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
