I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
