i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
