Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
