the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
