Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
