He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
